“Software is messy because it reflects our evolving understanding of the problem as we wrote it.”
I was a person who always had excitement and passion in my career. I was excited when I got my first job as a web developer and I pushed myself hard to learn everything I could to be knowledgeable in everything I did. For years I would have ideas and build them, find new tech and try them. But things happened along the way and I lost my passion.
I’m taking it back.
Looking back at the beginning of my career I had a lot of confidence. I also had no idea what kind of effort things took. I would say something as silly as “I could build that e-commerce system in 3 weeks!” only for it to take a year to build and then never launch. I was audacious, willing to dive into something I knew nothing about in an effort to force myself into a sink or swim situation. I grew quickly that way and stayed afloat more often than not.
My confidence allowed me to have strong opinions about work, the industry, and running a business. If I had a strong opinion I would share it and if things continued in a way I didn’t agree with I moved on. If someone told me I couldn’t do something or something wasn’t possible my response was always “watch me”. People telling me “no” was a great driving force for me, I wanted to prove them wrong. Go too far though and you become an asshole. I might have gone a bit too far in that direction at times.
I know I can get my confidence back, it’s the self-doubt that holds me back. I’ve had plenty of ideas in the past of things I’d like to build: just for fun ideas, business ideas, startup ideas, etc. Some of them I’ve developed the concepts without any polish, others I’ve designed the visuals or the database/api structure, and some are just sketches in my notebook. The thought of “does this even matter?” has kept me from finishing them. Some of these ideas I’ve actually seen come to life by others.
Why does it even have to matter? I think I’ve too often judged the validity of my ideas on the basis of how the startup world always talks about disruption or changing the world. Setting the bar like that causes a sense of embarrassment inside me for even wanting to share the idea if it doesn’t disrupt or change the world in some significant way. I know it doesn’t have to but there is also a feeling of personal validation for what I’ve built. In a way building the ideas that “change the world” are also building my identity and recognition in the communities I’m involved in. That doesn’t sound very humble at all. I think everyone is looking for some form of recognition in what they do but I don’t believe our identities should be shackled to the things we did.
Today I’m making a change. For too long I’ve been stuck in self-doubt. It’s suffocated my confidence. Writing this post alone took me all week to do and even now I’m still considering if I should post it or not. Publishing it is my step towards acknowledging and breaking this cycle. I’ve got a couple ideas I’ve been thinking a lot about that I’m starting to work on and even blocked out Friday’s completely to focus on them without any interruptions, to start writing again, and getting involved in the community.
I’m going to build things for the joy of building things again.
It is complete! Took a little over a month of waiting for parts, disassembly, cleaning, painting, and reassembly. I think it looks pretty good :)
Gas tank mounted! All that’s left is the front end and side panels, new brake fluid, and a little more cleaning/detailing.
Painted the gas tank black, but not really. Seeing how Plasti Dip works out on it and it’s a cheap method to painting the gas tank. If it doesn’t workout I may stick with a white tank and a black bike.
Had to remove the water pump to extract the rest of the drain bolt. It broke off when I put it back on after flushing out the coolant. Replacement bolt arrives tomorrow.
Tail section complete! Little bit everyday. It should all be ready by the weekend
This thing is gonna be all blacked out! The light is a lot brighter than my previous one and has a couple different features. First is that when the brake is applied the light flashes bright a few times before holding bright as a warning to drivers behind me that I’m braking. This gives better visibility and makes it that much safer. It also has sequential turn signals, meaning that the turn signal blinks from the center and on to the outside to indicate direction. Below is a video of how it works on a newer bike:
My assumption as correct! O-ring on one of the fuel injectors was damaged causing a leak and loss of power at times (fuel not getting to one of the cylinders). Replacing all the O-rings and gaskets now.